Just when I thought I was done with my food issues, a few more allergies decided to sneak in. Like one day they decided they were missing out on the party of the year that I never wanted to have.
A recent blood test came up with 17 different food allergies and I am in the process of doing a food elimination, just to be sure. So far, in addition to being allergic to almonds and having a gluten and dairy intolerance, I am also allergic to soy and yeast.
Sigh, really? I mean, really?
I have become quite the pain in the ass to have a meal with.
And what’s going to happen when I actually land a date with someone? I’m going to look like the world’s most high maintenance woman, and this totally goes against my “easy-going, low maintenance” description in my online dating profile.
My Date: “Hey, let’s go grab a bite to eat at that Chinese restaurant over there!”
Me: “Sorry, I can’t eat Chinese. You know, soy and all that.”
My Date: “Okay then, why don’t we grab slice of pizza?”
Me: “Sure, do they have a gluten-free crust and are you okay without having any cheese? Wait a sec, did that muffin we just shared have almonds? Crap, where is my Benadryl? My face is red? Oh no, no, no, I’m not embarrassed, those are hives.”
See? That’s not sexy. That’s not going to get me laid!
In addition to that, I have also developed this fear that I am going to be stuck in a place where I will be hungry and have nothing to eat. I carry at least two different kinds of snacks in my purse at all times, including gluten-free soy sauce (which I may as well get rid of at this point). At work, I have a drawer fully devoted to food that includes nuts, granola bars, potato chips, cereal, popcorn, and various other snacks.
And when I travel? Oh man, I need to take a picture of my suitcase the next time I travel. Not only do I pack snacks for my carry on, I carry snacks in the suitcase that I check because what happens if I land and I don’t have access to a store right away? Then when I get to the airport, I find myself buying a few more things because you know… what if I don’t want to eat what I brought with me?
Do you call this being prepared or obsessive compulsive? Tell me truthfully…. I can take it.