I have to admit I was very surprised to hear from you earlier this year. Eight years feels like a lifetime. So much has happened to me (and I’m sure to you) since you disappeared from my life.
Some of it was bad, but most of it was good. Somewhere deep down, I knew that I would hear from you again so when I did, it meant the world to me. You said you wanted to talk more and I left the door open, so why did you disappear again?
It’s okay, really. I mean… it’s been eight years. I get it. I’m realistic. We don’t owe each other anything and maybe you didn’t intend to respond to me that day… but you did… And your silence afterwards left me confused. So I left you alone.
I’ve been doing a lot work on myself these past four years. I’m finally dealing with issues that needed to be dealt with and while I was out walking one day, I remembered that you were the one who encouraged me to seek out therapy all those years ago.
I felt compelled to thank you. You responded so quickly even though I didn’t expect you to. You even shared something very personal with me, which I totally appreciated. I hope I conveyed that in the email. Again I left the door open, you have yet to walk through.
So I began to wonder, why would you do that to someone? Why would you share something so personal, tell me again that you want to talk more, and then do nothing?
Did you somehow see my previous post where I ranted about how confused I was at our exchange? About what it meant to me? Did it freak you out? I hope not… because most of that post was a knee-jerk reaction to you appearing back into my life from out of the blue. I was confused. Dare I say, even hopeful? I’m not going to lie. I had a million unresolved feelings come over me that left me reeling for days. It was a perfectly normal reaction to an unexpected event.
But now…. Now I just want to know how you are. I just want to have a conversation with you. I want to hear that you are okay and that you are taking care of yourself. Not because I hope that we will get back together. I know that’s crazy. I just want to know because I still think of you as my friend and I care about you.
So I’m leaving the door open for a while longer. I won’t push you because friendship has to be a two way street. Just know that I am here whenever you are ready.