What Makes Me Happy

Exercising never made me happy and I can’t say I had the best role models for that growing up. I grew up in the suburbs of Philly during the 80s. “Working out” was how many times you lifted a hoagie to your mouth or how many times you pounded out pizza dough. Living in California for as long as I have, it becomes a part of your daily life (or else you get kicked out of the state… Nah, I’m kidding… Sort of), but it still didn’t make me happy.

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My Progress So Far #1

It’s been about 7 months since I was diagnosed with a Gluten and Dairy Intolerance. At first, it seemed like my symptoms appeared out of nowhere, but in retrospect, I think I’ve had this problem for a very long time. Like years… No matter what I did with diet and exercise, I always seemed to gain weight. In October, I peaked at 202 pounds and was a size 16. I was so horrified with myself. The shame of how I looked and felt, seemed to permeate every aspect of my life, even work. And despite my recent complaining (readthis or this), I’m grateful that this happened to me. I know, right? Being grateful seems like a very strange emotion to have for something so serious, so let me explain.

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Food Intolerances 1, Me 0

I learned a big important lesson the hard way last weekend.

A word of caution: I will be a little graphic so if you are eating, it may be wise to move on.

Living a Gluten-Free lifestyle is surprisingly easy… if you never eat out, travel or cook all of your meals from scratch.

And I found myself in a good rhythm these past few months between work, home and even those rare occasions when I was able to eat out at a restaurant. Cue traveling…

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This Is No Fun

Thursday night and I am still continuing with my week of depression. By the end of day today, I could barely get any work done and all I wanted to do was sleep.

So after my two hour nap, I could barely raise my arms to reach my laptop that was on the coffee table. It was time to order dinner.

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I’m Exhausted

I’ve been feeling a bit depressed for a few days now. The only thing that has changed was my interview going live last Friday… Or it could be PMS… Either way, I’m a big fat ball of emotions right now and when I get this way I don’t want to work, or talk, or socialize or breathe.

A part of me wants to call my therapist, who is away for the next two weeks (talk about timing, huh?) and the other part of me wants to try to deal with this on my own. She isn’t going to be around forever, so I need to learn how to deal with this stuff without her…

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My Depression

At the tail end of 2010 and for most of 2011, I found myself going into a deep depression.

Since my divorce in 2001, I had several relationships. Some were fun and some were trouble, but only one lasted for more than 4 months. As time went on, I found that the “down” time in between relationships grew from a few months to a few years. This current break that I am on will hit four years this coming May.

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I Am A Skin-Picker

This is my week for gross posts. Please do not read if you are eating or get a queasy stomach very easily.

I had horrible nail biting habit for as long as I could remember. Sometime in my early 20’s, I found a way to overcome it by keeping my nails painted all the time. I would wear all kinds of colors from blue to green to black. It was fun and eventually, my nail biting habit was broken. At the same time, I decided to quit an eight year, pack-a-day smoking habit, cold-freaking-turkey. Yeah, I know. I tend to push myself to my limits without really thinking. I probably should have planned things out a little better because I ended up replacing two bad habits for one big one.

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Paying it Forward

One Sunday, a few weeks ago, I had nothing to do. No plans, no one to see, and no obligations for the first time in months.

I didn’t know what to do with myself so I cooked a big greasy breakfast, watched a little television, and putzed around the apartment until I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to get out. So I decided to get my car washed and get my eyebrows done. At least that way I could feel like I did something productive.

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